10 Tips for Dating with Godly Confidence

Honey, dating today can be real messy!!! And for Christian women who are serious about honoring God, it can feel like you’re dodging distractions left and right. On top of that, it appears that all the good men are either married, emotionally off-limits, unavailable for whatever reason, or stuck in another universe, lol.

So how do you stay pure and faithful to God, hopeful for true love, and wise in decision making all at the same time?

Here are 10 tips to help you date with wisdom, confidence, and spiritual clarity:

1. Keep God at the Center

Your relationship with Christ sets the tone for every other relationship in your life. Before giving your heart away, make sure it’s anchored in Him. Prayerfully ask God to guide your decisions and guard your heart.

2. Know Who You Are in Christ

Identity. Identity. Identity. Knowing your identity is so vital. This portion is the core of my mentorship training. Women, not only do you need to learn who you are, but you have to accept and become confident in who you are. You are chosen, loved, and valuable. You don’t need to chase any other validation outside of God.

3. Be Intentional with Your Intentions

Communicate clearly. Are you dating to marry? As believers of God, we should NOT be dating if the intention is not to marry. Are you looking for spiritual alignment - to be equally yoked? Don’t dim your standards or change who you are in God to keep someone around who isn’t aligned with your values, purpose, and expectations.

4. Protect Your Heart and Your Boundaries

Set emotional and physical boundaries early. Love doesn’t require compromise of conviction. Real love honors God, your values, and your body. Let him know that he ain’t getting no cookies until he officially makes you his wife!!! Period!!! Guard your heart, don’t become vulnerable until you know, that you know, that you know that he’s the one.

5. Watch Their Fruit, Not Just Their Words

Someone can talk about God and still live contrary to Him. I’m sure you’ve seen this a lot. Jesus said we will know people by their fruit (Matthew 7:16). Observe character over charm. Character over that good smelling cologne. Character over that six-pack. Character over looks and that deep sounding voice. Help Jesus!!! Lol But for real: Do you know how many women have fallen for the church actors? These men hide behind positions in church, they hide behind titles, and they hide behind scripture they don’t even live by. If you aren’t careful, you will fall in love with the exterior because you’re blind to the interior. Get your discernment up love!

6. Don’t Settle Just to Have Someone

Loneliness can tempt you to entertain someone just to fill a void you fail to properly fill. Choosing wrong now will cost you your peace later. And ladies, yall know how much we value our peace. Even though some of us have sacrificed it in the past trying to be God in a man’s life. But we woke now, right???

7. Surround Yourself with Godly Counsel

Get input from mentors, trusted friends, or spiritual leaders. Someone who will give you sound Biblical advice. You need people who love you enough to tell you the truth - especially when emotions are to blurring your vision.

8. Trust the Nudges of Holy Spirit

That uneasy feeling in your gut? The tension you keep dismissing? Pay attention. God often speaks through subtle conviction. Don’t silence it just because you want something to work. Don’t overlook it because you’ve given priority to your flesh over wisdom. Women, we will ignore a whole football field of red flags, just to get to that one green flag on the sideline, because “we love him.”

9. Use Your Single Season Well

Singleness (even after divorce) is not a punishment. It’s preparation. Become whole in God. Heal, grow, build, explore, and allow God to refine you. You don’t want to enter marriage as a half-healed version of yourself.

10. Keep Hope Alive

Despite all of the relationship and marital tragedies we see around us, God is still writing love stories. ❤️Don’t let past disappointments or delays rob you of expectation. When it’s His timing, it’ll come together with peace, purpose, and confirmation.

Sis, be intentional when dating. Don’t just date for attention - date with intention. You are a daughter of the King, and you deserve a love story written by the Author of Love Himself. Keep your standards, guard your heart, and let God lead the way. When it’s right, it won’t feel forced. Stay rooted, stay wise, and never forget - girl you are worth the wait.